In recent years bullying, cruelty, and divisiveness has become normalized, sometimes even gratified. This has taken a toll on all of us, but especially children. In order to for young people to thrive, they need to feel safe. In schools, when we say things like “mind your own business” or “don’t be a tattle tale” we have in effect, joined the bullies in disempowering our children. The fact is, there is a portion of the population who bully—and there is a portion of the population who are bullied—but there is a whole lot of kids in between. If young people speak up when they see someone being hurt, and if they are validated, admired and respected for speaking up, they’ll be more inclined to do so. This can change the bully culture. If on the other hand, we ask children to “mind their own business” we create a culture of fear, where people only look out for themselves, and where no one is safe. We can teach children the difference between telling and tattling, we can teach them to stand up for themselves and for others, and we can change their lives for the better. All of my work–whether it’s individual or family therapy, teaching, writing or speaking–has been about fighting for girls and young women and helping them to find their voice with the goal of creating a more civil and just society where young people can thrive.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” -Plato
“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same.” -Og Mandino